Perceptual Changes

I remember often telling drawing classes that shutting one eye would flatten the scene making it easier to see the clear boundaries of objects without the competition of two views. What we used in the Illusionism class to create the appearance of reality were spatial signals that needed just one eye and were processed preconsciously. This was brought to mind by the illusions I’m working on in my painting. My sensitivity to spatial illusion is stronger. With only one eye the whole world is flat so the effectiveness my illusions is becoming more real enabling me to push them further than I’d envisioned. I knew I was successful when I caught myself holding the brush sideways to work on a plane that appeared to slant back from the painted surface. I’d fooled myself. The illusion of the slanted plane affected my behavior before what I know reached consciousness. This turned out to be a problem. My primary spatial reality is now based on one eye. The illusion I paint looks as real as reality. As the illusion gets stronger, I make more mistakes. Too often as my instincts turn my hand to the perceived angle of what I paint the result is a long mark where I’d pushed the brush sideways against the surface try to go deeper into the pit believed to be there. Before the mind is conscious of it, the body responds to the environment it sees. What I like about illusionism is its power to stimulate at that level. The unconscious adjustments that occur automatically are what creates the feeling of a scene. Without that feeling of space and separation between things, I’ve made many accidental marks with my brush on furniture that I thought was farther away. Coming to grips with all the difficulties of losing half of my vision, I’m also discovering some interesting new sensitivities particularly in my work. I’ve been able to take the illusions further than I could see before. Details look sharper, mistakes easier to spot. I’m grateful for these unexpected benefits and open to the possibility there may be more. My brain has been hard at work compensating, creating a sense that I see a whole scene even though most of the left side is missing. Filled out with what it does see and has seen recently it’s a relief not to be aware of the void depicted in the drawing below. It’s still greyed out and inaccurate but not empty grey. The brain’s remarkable ability to reprogram itself, to adapt its circuitry to the existing situation begins its adjustment immediately. Learning is what’s its plasticity is made for. This situation is giving me plenty to learn.